Enduring Friendship

My mother’s circle of friends was formed in the 1930s when they were teenage girls living in Baltimore. As their numbers increased it evolved into a somewhat formalized membership group with 25 to 30 ladies. They held all sorts of social activities as well as community service projects. They grew up, married and started families, and though some moved away and dropped out there was a core that remained close. When I was in my early teens I became more aware of my mother’s “girls.” (I always teased my mom about her use of the term “girls” to refer to women who were obviously “old ladies” in my adolescent eyes. Of course they were at that time about 30 years younger than I am now!)

Friendship is indeed a godly quality. To be a friend is to manifest an attribute of God. In Isaiah 41:8, the prophet tells the nation Israel that their ancestor Abraham was God’s friend. The promise of blessing to Israel is seen here as a direct consequence of the friendship of Abraham and God. The fruit of real friendship extends throughout the generations. In 2 Samuel 9:1-8, we see that when David became king over Israel, the house of Saul was totally devastated. David aggressively sought out someone who was left of the family of the former king so that he could bless him because of the friendship that David had had with Jonathan, the son of Saul.

In James 2:23, Yaakov (James) also brings out the fact that Abraham was God’s friend because he believed what He told him in Genesis 15. Though he had no children and his wife was barren, his descendants would be as numerous has the stars in the sky. It is interesting that Shaul uses the same verses from Genesis to emphasize faith, whereas Jacob emphasizes works. This is not contradictory – it is complementary. And it’s appropriate that Jacob applies these verses this way because friendship involves doing things for one another in a relationship. If friendship is genuine it is shared in life experiences.

In Numbers 12:5-8, the Lord rebuked Aaron and Miriam, the brother and sister of Moses, because they criticized him (ostensibly over his authority to lead, but in reality over his marrying an Ethiopian woman). In verse 8, God said about Moses, “With him I speak face-to-face and clearly, not in riddles; he sees the image of the Lord. So why were you not afraid to criticize my servant Moses?” God spoke with Moses, literally, “mouth-to-mouth.” This is intimate communication. Those on the outside of that relationship cannot be critical of those on the inside. What God says to Moses, he says out of love, even when it contains criticism and correction. That’s the privilege of friendship. The daughter of one of my mother’s friends said that her mother would never allow her to speak a negative word about the “girls,” but among themselves they could say whatever they wanted! In Proverbs 27:6, it is written, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.”

In John 15:13, Yeshua said this, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” The laying down of one’s life for others certainly encompasses the possibility of physically dying in order that another might live. However, such an extreme act of sacrifice is surely not the path most of us will be required to take. Yet, there is a laying down of our lives that is required in order to build quality relationships that stand the test of time. Shaul put it very simply in Philippians 2:3,4. “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Friendships that span nearly three-quarters of a century don’t just happen by accident. They grow from the fertile soil of humility and are nourished by genuine acts of loving care for the welfare of others. Dear Mom and friends, thanks for the example.